The Trek from Heck

Riverboat after our Trek

My recent Lao adventure began like most of mine have been starting this year.

Arrive in New Country:

Stranger Yesterday, But Now New Travel Friend: "Hey, I have an idea!"

Me: "Let's hear it."

Semi-Stranger: "Let's do [insert dangerous or mentally overwhelming activity here] tomorrow!"

Me: "Sure. Why not!?" 

Fast forward through 3 days of trekking in the jungles of Northern Laos, sleeping in tribal villages, and playing drinking games using only a chicken head with people who got electricity in their home less than two weeks ago:

New Best Friend Who I Could Now Tell You Anything About: "That was interesting."

Me: "I need a shower." 

Laotian countryside

If you haven't already guessed, Rotem and I spent the past few days trekking in northern Laos.  For those of you who aren't avid outdoorspeople, this activity consists of a vast combination of hiking, walking, crawling, swimming, sweating, praying, sliding, sitting, balancing, laughing hysterically, and most importantly not crying.  

When we began to ask around to friends we had met in our first day in Luang Prabang, Rotem and I could not decide which northern region to choose for our trek.  Being an avid avoider of all things nature related up until the dawn of 2014, I wanted to ensure we were not going to be carrying our own tents and setting traps to catch dinner.  After exploring our options, we settled on the "Moderate" 3 day trek with a guide from Luang Prabang who spoke English, or at least more English than we spoke Lao.   

Pat - what a gem!

On Tuesday morning, we were greeted pre-coffee by our guide, Pat.  After a quick cafe run, we drove a few hours north from Luang Prabang to begin our adventure.  Once we arrived at the designated starting point, we were promptly instructed to get out of the amazingly air conditioned van and into the 36*C heat, handed three half liter water bottles and told to follow Pat, who was already halfway up the first hill.  

Having played soccer in the scorching, Southern summer heat, I initially chuckled at this minuscule amount of water, but immediately got nervous when I realized this was actually all the liquid we were receiving for the day.  This water wouldn't last me 4 minutes, let alone 4 hours that we had to hike to the first village!  

When I asked Pat if this was really all the water, he began to impart the trekking wisdom that we would be receiving for the following three days: "Drinking much water make you slow.  It not good for you."  Ah, Pat!  Why didn't you say so sooner?!  All these years of being so hydrated have been keeping me so slow!  To imagine what could have been of my soccer career! Damn you, Gatorade!  

In hindsight, maybe he was thinking that if we were drinking less it would be easier for him to carry us if things got bad, which I'm sure crossed his mind more than once. 

After the mini-monologue in my head, I decided to stop worrying and trust him, after all I certainly had no clue what was going on.  During the first few kilometers, we learned that Pat is 35 and has been a guide in these mountains for the past 13 years; he is one of 9 children; he spent 8 years studying as a monk; and his dream is to build a house outside of Luang Prabang on the property he purchased 5 years ago.  He told us about all things Lao and happily answered our ceaseless questions about his culture, food, people, politics, and country.  With the exception that he was obviously a mountain goat in a past life, I was starting to like him.  

After about an hour, we arrived at a small stream in the jungle, which signaled our break for lunch.  Pat told us that we could wash off in the water while he prepared lunch.  

Note: At around this point, I was very happy with my choice to join Rotem and the days that lay ahead on our trek.  

When we returned from the stream, Pat had arranged huge banana leaves into a picnic blanket set up and opened our lunch, which was all packed in the traditional Lao containers: more banana leaves.  Our lunch consisted of pork sausage, anchovy something, pork (I think) and cilantro noodle salad, fish with extra bones, and sticky rice from the village we passed on the way earlier.  It was a fine feast, except we are with our fingers. 

Rotem and I exchanged looks that said we were both calculating our options, shrugged, and dug in.  Regardless of our silverware situation, and true to form when it comes to food, I tried everything.  My favorite combination ended up being the anchovy dish and sticky rice.  It was surprisingly delicious and flavorful after I mastered scooping up a few little fish using only my ball of rice and fingers.   

After lunch, we continued through the dense jungle and saw some of the most incredible sights I have ever seen.  Walking beside and (literally) up through a waterfall with hundreds of beautiful butterflies dancing around us was breathtaking.  We both agreed that we felt like we were in a dream!

After about 3 more hours of over the river and through the woods, we arrived at the first village where we would be staying for the night.  We put down our packs and, after downing an entire liter of water each, decided to walk about 20 minutes to visit the caves outside of the village.  

Rotem handed out colored pencils to the village kids and within minutes we had a small gang of excited tour guides to show us to the caves.  With Pat's help, we chatted with them and got to know some of them.  The caves were cool, but after our first day, I was almost indifferent to the exploration due to my state of exhaustion.  

Playing songs on the iPhone

We got back to our bamboo room, and wanted to shower before dinner.  After voicing this desire, we were pointed to a spicket in the middle if the village huts.  We had no idea what we were in for.  The spicket stood about a meter high, and about two seconds we realized it was all-purpose.  

While waiting in line, we watched a half-naked woman, freshly showered, wash a bucket of Mekong seaweed for dinner.  (And to think of these people who have vegetable sinks!  Don't they know they have a shower they could be using for this task? We could be saving time, water, and sinks!).  Following the woman in line was a child, presumably hers, who had shown us to the caves earlier, but who was now naked and taking her daily shower.  We were next.  By this point, I guess word had spread through the 120-something person village that we were going to attempt to shower.  People literally stuck their heads out of their windows and sat down nearby to watch and see how these two farangs were going to bathe.  There's no such thing as bad publicity, right?

Note: if you hadn't already assumed, at this point I was second guessing our choice to join Rotem for this trek. 

If the immediate laughter we received from the locals was any indicator, we were obviously newbies at this showering process and entertaining the village in the process of learning.  At one point, a chicken hopped into the small spicket area, clucked, and just stood staring at us.  

Rotem read my mind and blurted between dousing her hair in the water, "We're also being mocked by the animals, this is really good." 

We were laughing so hard that we couldn't contain ourselves, and after my 5-minute initiation I left with soap coating my hair.  I thought the day was almost over, but there was still fun to be had.  

Eating fresh berries with our Tour Guides

All over South East Asia, New Years celebrations have been happening over the past few weeks.  This past weekend was Laos New Year, but the village hasn't had their feast yet.  We were just in time. 

After our second day, we pushed our bodies to new levels, and reached a level of exhaustion I have never experienced, marathon included.  During the last hour, even our incessant "Are we almost there yet?" chirping ceased.  When we heard the promising calls of chickens and then the laughter of children, we thought it was a creation of our imagination.  

Luckily, it wasn't, and they had cold BeerLao waiting for us.  Though it wasn't the smartest option, we greedily gulped our liters without a second glance.  About three minutes later, Rotem laid down on the bench despite the crabs, roosters, and ducks within inches of her face.  "I think I'm drunk."  

And Pat, as always, had a hearty laugh in the background while I sat in semi-misery and was honestly confused at why people signed up for things like this for "fun".  Maybe, like Rotem, I was just instantaneously drunk.

Shortly thereafter, we headed for bed.  The next morning we awoke, packed our bags for the last time, and began our last portion of our adventure.

Rotem speaking with a teacher

We stopped at the village's elementary school and spent about an hour playing games with the kids during their break and took the opportunity to share the remaining school supplies we had purchased with the various classrooms and teachers.  

School girls playing a game similar to hopscotch

Although the classrooms were very basic, they had the same alphabet, chalkboard, and desk set up that one would imagine of any classroom environment.  There were about 25 children in each classroom, and we were told that this school is for the children of three surrounding villages.  

Gorgeous views of surrounding mountains - how can they pay attention to their lessons!?

As we continued on our final stretch of the trek, we were mostly silent and slightly spread out over about 100 meters.  It was wonderful to spend time enjoying the beautiful natural setting and reflecting on the quite eventful past few days.  About three hours later, we heard Pat shout that he saw boats, which meant our journey had come to an end. 

The boat took us down the river to the small town of Luang Namtha, and we had a few hours to relax there and explore.  We used the tour office's bikes and enjoyed seeing the town, but were not upset when they said it was time for our 4 hour drive back to Luang Prabang.  I'm so happy that I met Rotem and that she was persistent about finding a trekking opportunity; I'm quite sure it's not something I would have done on my own!